My bad(s)...

I have to fess up.

I am not a perfect driver. In fact, I'm probably as much, if not more, of a menace on the road than my fellow motorists.

As you can tell, I did something lamebrained today and am now contrite.

Driving home is always a breeze for me because I usually don't leave the office until well after 6 p.m., hardly any traffic then. Tonight, I left at 5 p.m. (GASP!)

The roads were jammed. I was right in the middle of the jam, in the right hand lane and noticed the left hand lane was moving much faster because so many people were getting into the left turn lane ahead.

I formulated a plan. As soon as there was an opening, I would put on my blinker, rev up and scoot over while keeping a careful eye for brake lights on the car ahead of me.

Excellent plan. But apparently the driver I "scooted" in front of didn't share my vision.

She (oh, and she was on the cell the whole time yakking away) was three feet behind my back bumper when I made my move. But perhaps I didn't notice her speeding up, or she didn't notice my blinker because when I was half "scoot" into her lane she laid on the horn and startled me so that I actually yelled, "YIKES!" inside my truck.

I looked back and she didn't appear to be that close. But I admit, I hate it when people cut in front of my like that too. So that was my bad tonight.


TRUE CONFESSION NO. 2
The other confession I have involves parking lot driving. And while I admit my faults in this TRUE tale, I still have to say the people who pretended that I nearly mowed them down were a bit overreactive.

I was late all that day. And I was late again as I was leaving Chipotle (I just love their food and for $5, you can't beat the price).

Anyway, I was late so I decided to cut through the massive parking lot in which Chipotle is located. Just whiz past Barnes and Nobel, cut in front of Ralphs and around the corner to a side street that would put me on the main road ahead of all the lights.

Except that parking lots are not the place to be in a hurry. People (and, yes, I do hate them) have a tendency to be doing their own thing, pulling into a spot, backing out, slowwwwwwllllly driving around looking for a spot, or, curse them, WALKING to the stores.

As I was mid-whiz past Barnes and Nobel, coming up on Ralphs, two ladies were meandering down the side of the road, sort of perhaps angling to cross the road, but not really committing to it. WHOOSH! I went right past them and saw them in my rearview mirror jumping to the side.

I wasn't really that close, but it probably felt like it. I kind of felt bad about it. ButI DO hate anglers. Walk ACROSS the road or don't. It ain't a damn PARK!

Up ahead, I saw a couple, mid-50s, with a cart angling toward Ralphs. Great, more anglers.

I calculated how long it would take them to get in striking distance and whether I could make it past them before I had to stomp on the brakes and wait for them to angle their way across the road into Ralphs.

I figured I could make it, so I sped up.

The man looked right at me, saw what I was doing and took a step in my direction. Too late. I was in the zone. He jumped back. As I went past him he hollered "Bitch!" Then the woman screeched "Would you PLEASE slow down?" I thought it was a rhetorical question so I kept on going. Besides, slowing down might give them time to jot down my license number.

So, there you have it. True confessions from a sometimes inconsiderate driver.