It's a conspiracy

I was late for work the other day. Do people know somehow? And they conspire to make my driving trip worse? It must be...

We live off a pretty busy highway, which is annoying enough with all the through traffice, then our elected officials in their "wisdom" made sure this was a heavy industry corridor as well (pipe manufacturing, refining, lumber yards, etc). THEN they decided it would be just peachy to develop the hell out of the area adding tons of commuters. Since there were lots of houses, HEY, lets add some shopping malls, so they did.

So, it's a mess.

But that's not what I'm on about today.

Today, it's you, OTHER DRIVERS.

I'm late, get onto the highway and am behind some guy in a truck w/trailer. A truck next to me pulls ahead and gets into my lane, sort of, then he moves over to the other lane, then, what the hell, he just decides to straddle the center line and take up both lanes, very sloooooowwwwwly, because he, of course, was on his cell phone. (Which brings up another issue: Men or women, which are worse at driving while yakking on their cells? I say men...you'll see why in a minute)

So straddler finally turns off the highway and I think I'm ready to move. I'm at a stoplight with one other car in front of me. Light turns green and she takes off...slowly. Ok, so we all don't drop the hammer at the green light and take off like Mario Andretti. Fine.

She continues on very slooooowwwwly. Seriously. This is a 50mph road and she's doing 20mph. And everyone else was smart and got in the other lane, so no way can I get around her.

Finally, just as my blood pressure is about to cause my hair to burst into flames, there's an opening in the other lane and I squirt around. That's just when she decideded to turn off and go to WalMart. Typical!

Next obstacle: ANOTHER IDIOT ON HIS CELL!!!!

He gets a call (I can see through his big back window) and he SLOOOOOWWWWS way down. Gets off the phone and speeds up. Another call, SLOOOOOWWWWS down...and on and on.

I got mad. I whipped around the SOB and cut right in front of him. And I could see that ticked HIM off...so he started tailing me real close. But, alas, he got another call and SLOOOOWWWWED way down. I lost him in no time.

I got to work 15 minutes late. Thanks fellow motorists!